A Selfless Pursuit

India elective part 3

2011-05-01T13:34:00.000+07:00

Fun.

If I have to describe my posting in Medicine. I was very thankful to God because no way I would survive in this summer if I was not posted in the ICU. Why? because there are air conditioners of course.

In brief, my schedule was from Monday and Saturday. Every day, 8:00 am to 9:00 am there is a postgraduate meeting. In this meeting different basic and clinical topics are discussed each day. Then, 9:00 am to 1:00 pm, I am stationed at the ICU. Afterwards, I have my lunch. dr. Jajoo is a very sensible person. He told me to return at 4:00 PM because it was too hot.

The undergraduate students, interns, postgraduate students, even the consultants are very nice.

Although India and Indonesia are similar in terms of the pattern of the disease, there are still so many things to learn. However, the language barrier could not be eliminated. Hence, I did not get what I should have gotten.

India elective part 2

2011-04-06T19:58:00.000+07:00

Two weeks in medicine. Two days has passed

I did not really know what to expect since I was expecting four weeks of community medicine. So, when I faced dr. Jajoo, the Head of the Department, what came out from my mouth was that I am interested in critical care and neurology.

It was quite fun actually. The doctors were all very nice.

Plus, my room was equipped with a cooler (it is nothing more than an air humidifier). I could not ask for more.

Somehow, I reminisced about my last days in Melbourne.

India elective part 1

2011-04-03T12:41:00.000+07:00

It has been a long time since I have updated my blog. I found myself unable to write during this final year. Maybe, it was due to the volume of assignments during this final year or I just was not in the mood. The latter being more likely.

Now seems to be the appropriate time to start writing again since I am going to India. I will continue my writing about my K2N journey to Rote island. However, in the mean time, I will write about my experience in India.

The start of this journey was quite rough (domestic issues), which was not helpful at all for the nervousness that I felt. Why so nervous? This is the second time of me traveling on my own (the first time was the time I left Melbourne). Yet somehow, I managed to board the plane.

For this trip, I have to change to another flight in Singapore. I went to Singapore once, when I was very little (around 10 years old). I could not remember the airport, but currently, my first impression was that it was like a scene from a video game. Very spacious, elegant airport, plus the background music. Although I hate waiting, it seemed to be a quite pleasant activity in Changi Airport.

I arrived at the Mumbai International Airport. The flight was quite pleasant due to the fact that I was able to watch Harry Potter 7 part 1 (Yes, I have not watched it). After I checked in my luggage, I was transported to the domestic flight section by a shuttle bus. There, I met Rajim or Rajib (I am sorry). In my defense, it was in the middle of the night and I was not particularly familiar with Indian names. He is a nice person and we chatted for a while.

While waiting for the morning to come, I slept or at least I tried to sleep. However, I found myself dozing in and out between reality with an empty stomach. Unfortunately, the flight was delayed to almost two hours, and to make things worse, they did not serve any food on the plane.

Once I arrived in Nagpur, it took one and a half hour of car drive to reach Mahatma Gandhi Institute of Medical Science. After a brief tour and lunch (Thank God for food), I went to meet my supervisor dr. Vijayshree. Apparently, they have decided for me to take an elective program in Medicine (two weeks) and Community Medicine (two weeks).

“It is not a bad choice”, I thought.

However, I was quite taken by surprise to know that this elective will be “quite” busy. Hopefully I can keep up and do everything accordingly. Now, off to bath!

Departure

2010-08-07T09:24:00.001+07:00

Sunday, 31st July 2010. I have not finished my packing yet.

Suddenly there was a message that said we (Halim Perdanakusuma Group) were asked by the head of K2N program to gather as early as possible. This, I could not do. I replied that I could come at 1.00 PM WIB the earliest.

There were few things left behind due to rushed packing. I was dismayed. In short, I arrived on the rendezvous point.

“Our departure will be delayed”, said one of the committee member. I was ecstatic (not that I did not want to go, I just did not want to go that badly). Then, I went home, repacking, enjoying my hot cup of tea, and the rest was a cliche.

I made it back at 09.00 PM WIB, with a more happy feeling (because I know nothing was left out).

02.00 AM WIB. We have just finished checking, categorizing, and weighing our cargo. Using the Campus bus, we departed to Soekarno-Hatta Airport.

(See the whitest guy next to the bearded guy, that's me)

I just love airport in the morning. So serene. Nevertheless, as we were checking in, as predicted, people were looking because of the amount and kinds of things we brought. And Oh! Did I mention I meet a celebrity?

The goods exceeded the weight limit far from what we had expected, so did the charge rate. I could not careless. I slept right until the moment that our goods must be shipped as cargoes; I helped with the weighing.

And then, he came. Our tutor (let’s call him Mr. X). I have heard some nasty rumors about Mr. X, tasted it a bit and disliked it. Point short, Mr. X did not want to go and made this hypothetical conspiracy theory. I applauded him for the theory, but I did not take the matter seriously because it was unproven.

We board on Garuda right on schedule. Thirty minutes transit in Bali, and two hours later we arrived at Kupang International Airport, El Tari. The total flight time was around three hours, plus one hour because of the different time zone. It was 01.00 PM WITA.

That afternoon was rather cloudy, and with savannah looking panorama, I was hooked. I wonder whether this was similar to Africa.

Due to weather, our departure to Lirang was delayed.

After the journey

2010-08-03T16:42:00.001+07:00

Long story short, I was accepted as K2N participant and attended meetings to create and discuss programs, which will be carried out in our designated places, for a month. We were divided into groups of 5 and each of us must be responsible for at least one program.

There were 8 compulsory programs and a group program (mine was traditional foods and drinks). The 8 programs were:

a. Rumah baca, where local people can gain access to books, which we had brought. It will be evaluated after we leave and if successful, more books will be sent.

b. Mendongeng, beryanyi, dan bermain permainan tradisional. This program focuses in archiving local games, folk stories, and songs, in order to preserve them. In addition, we also introduced games, songs, and stories from Java island.

c. Mengunjungi lansia dan orang sakit, in english is visiting the elderly and sick people. In design, the program was focused more on the elderly, to help them to create an elderly community, where they can be more “productive“.

d. Penyuluhan narkoba, miras, serta HIV/AIDS. Educating people about drugs, alcohol, and HIV/AIDS. Further explanation will not be necessary, I think.

e. Penyuluhan hukum. This program focuses on law problems such as land ownership, citizenship, and illegal fishing. The program will be carried out in form of informal discussion.

f. Penyuluhan kesehatan, gizi, serta KB untuk perempuan. Basically, the target of the program is female. Topics covered were about reproductive health, nutrition, and family planning for females. I chose to be responsible for this program, as I studied medicine.

g. Kebersihan anak sekolah. This program aim at elementary students and its scopes were dental health, hand hygiene, and school environment health.

h. Kesehatan lingkungan dan KB untuk pria. In translation, environmental health and family planning for males.

I will post about my experience doing K2N in Southwest Rote, Batutua district, in my next posts.

K2N UI 2010 part 3

2010-05-13T07:34:00.000+07:00

Finished and passed the physical test (both running and swimming).

I wonder...if people volunteering to remote areas tested for the same thing also?

I felt sick this week, felt better after two days of sleep. I did not fare well on my intubation examination. Felt sad, but let’s move on.

Anyway, I am required to do a medical check-up before I can be fully enlisted in the program.

...

...

I just realized, literally, that the EBM schedule will collide with the K2N preparation classes on June...what should I do?

K2N UI 2010 part 2

2010-04-28T17:37:00.000+07:00

I have made it to the physical test!

So, I had the interview on last monday. I have not gotten any information whether I passed it or not. After reading k2nui2010 twitter (it has proven its usefulness), I sent a text message to the CP (without thinking twice) to ask any information available about the interview; and he replied that I passed the interview.

I was scheduled for physical test tomorrow at 16.00. OMG...another problem with dr. R? I hope not.

I do not know how will I fare, hopefully my kendo training is in favor for me.

K2N UI 2010

2010-04-24T19:43:00.000+07:00

K2N = KKN = Kuliah Kerja Nyata (Real Work College?)
UI = Universitas Indonesia (My University)

Basically, it is a field work to one out of the twelve destinations. Not just an ordinary destinations, they are remote areas and lies on the edge of Indonesian’s border. I chose Bepondi Island.

The application’s deadline was 7th March 2010. I still decided to apply anyway. I got nothing to lose, right? I got the chance to send my bio and essay.

Yey!

Although I was not very sure about my essay (non-formal and people who read it, would know it was me), I got an interview on Monday, 26th April 2010.

Plus, I just knew that k2nui2010 has a twitter by the same name. And I just knew that there was going to be a physical and mental test as well.

Anyway, getting through the interview is my first priority for now.

Being a medical student...

2010-02-21T22:52:00.000+07:00

I know there has been thousands of post with the title above, posted by thousands of medical students.

However, finally, I decided to write a post about it after an event that occurred to me 21.50 pm today.

I was riding a bus to Harmoni after attending a farewell party. In Harmoni station, as I was looking for the Pulo Gadung gate, from afar I saw a pair of feet lying on a chair surrounded by people. “Oh shit, what happened?” was the first thing that came out of my mind. As I approached, I saw a girl in her twenties, lying on the bench, unconscious.

I felt that as if my neurons was processing information twice than normal; recalling memories about stories of this kind, especially those in Captain Atopic Degranulated’s blog about arrogant medical students. Link: http://www.captainatopic.com/2009/08/arrogance-iii.html

I hesitantly approached the Busway officers because I don’t want to look cocky being a medical student and to look stupid if I couldn’t do something about it.

Half-heartedly, I approached the officers and said, “I’m a medical student, is there anything that I can do to help?” My head went “Shit, you’re in it now.” He politely answered,“You better asked her mom.” Then, I did. Trying to recall everything I have learnt in emergency medicine, I checked her ABC to make sure that she is stable. After that I asked her mom about what happened. Apparently, she hasn’t eat anything since morning. “It seemed that the patient is low in sugar,” I said with uncertainty. “I don’t want to misdiagnose this person,“ I thought. Her GCS was 8 and her pupil reflex is still intact. Some of the family member went to buy a sweetened tea.

I didn’t decide to stay because I was afraid of missing the last bus.

On my way home, I’ve done a lot of thinking. ”Does it feel good?” Hell yeah!, “but by showing it off, doesn’t it make me look arrogant?“ Absolutely. However, halfway home, that feeling was gone. The thinking was changed into how recently medical suing occurred in this country.

Perhaps I’m arrogant, being a medical student, but I’m trying to change it. For now, I will do my best so that I can help many people in the future.

So, what do you think about your own profession.

(Forgive the grammatical mistakes)

Bike, Motorbike, or Car?

2010-01-30T20:55:00.000+07:00

I just renewed my driving license for motorbike (SIM C).

The police station was not that far and the process was fairly simple. First, you need to register yourself on the registration booth (there is a sign for renewing license). Then, you need to do a visual acuity testing. In my opinion, there should be a re-test about traffic rules and sorts; many people just know how to drive. *sigh*

Afterwards, you should apply for road-accident insurance. While I was waiting, I saw a “calo” (don’t know the english term); Next to him was a sign “Don’t use ”calo“!!” How ironic.

Lastly, you hand over your old license and the health check-up pass. Then, you wait for your photo to be taken and voila! it is done.

The overall process takes about 15-20 minutes. However, it was beyond my expectation that the fee for renewing the license was almost the same like making a new license. I did not bring extra money so I just said straight that I did not have any more money (after 150,000,- IDR). I could not even pay the parking fee.

It was a bit dodgy because I still got my license though I did not pay for the “extra charges”.

So, what is the relation between the title of the post and post so far.

None.

I just wanted to rant. :D

In correlation with the title. People were asking me why I used a motorbike rather than a car. Well, my answer is simple:

It is small and easy to maneuver.
Cheap on gas.
Cheap on parking fee.

Perhaps, after I overcome my road-rage problem, I will drive a car.

If people ask me why I did not ride a bike. I will ask you instead. “Are you insane?”

ACLS!

2010-01-26T15:32:00.002+07:00

For you who don't know. It stands for Advanced Cardiac Life Support.

I never thought I would be doing it so soon.

Yesterday was my first time, and fortunately the patient did not die (at least at that time); the patient was in an unstable bradycardia.

It was a lot longer, lot harder, and very exhausting compared to what I imagined.

I am happy that the patient did not die.

We beat you death!!! Arrr

Farewell (Psych Ward Pt 3)

2010-01-10T15:29:00.002+07:00

This my final week, so I'm sorry if I can't do any more home visit.

You can call or text me, but as I said, I will try reply it if I can.

Believe me, your next doctor will be a whole lot better.

Merry Christmas!!

2009-12-25T14:31:00.002+07:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Opening up (Psych Ward Pt 2)

2009-12-24T18:44:00.005+07:00

I know it was a little but at least you have opened up.

It must be very frustrating (Psych Ward Pt 1)

2009-12-22T14:54:00.003+07:00

I know it is hard for you,

when you think that people think that you are crazy.

when you pretend that you do not experience the symptoms, so that they will let you out.

It is not that I do not want to give you a chance to do a phone call. I just cannot.

I know it must have been hard for you but it is hard for me, also.

Sick society

2009-12-12T22:34:00.002+07:00

I don't know if it's just me or not, but I saw that this country is rotting inside out.

People are demonstrating against corruption when they are a part of it. HYPOCRITE!

I'm talking about the Century Bank case. If you don't know the truth just shut it. Don't speculate and point fingers.

The thing that frustrates me most is the fact that this is a sickness that I couldn't cure.

...but I believe in baby steps.

I'm too naive?

2009-12-08T16:17:00.003+07:00

I always thought, of all places on earth, academic world, especially medical school, would be the just one. Unfortunately, I was proven wrong.

Just heard today; the graduation yesterday was unjust.

Maybe I was being too naive?

Filipus Dasawala, BMedSc

2009-12-07T19:30:00.002+07:00

Just received my degree in medical science :D

2.5 years more...

Finished my first rotation!

2009-10-09T18:51:00.003+07:00

Okay, though I intended to post each week about my experience in different hospitals, I could not make it due to several reasons, such as, internet connection and work hours.

To make things worse, during my last rotation week, I got sick, pretty bad, which kind of frustrating because I still got one more presentation, one portfolio exam, and final written examination.

In the end, I think somehow I was able to pull it off.

I cannot wait for my second rotation in the eye department.

Tales from the ED part 1

2009-09-28T21:30:00.003+07:00

I have been meaning to post about my first week, but since last week is a holiday, I found myself doing a lot of household chores and taking elective night duties.

Okay, here I go.

First day. What the heck I was supposed to do here? Ok, I will just follow the residents. Please don't ask me to do a thing, I am here just to watch.

On the contrary, I was ask to measure the vital signs and put in NGT and Urine catheter. My thought went blank. I ended up measuring the vital signs and load the patient with RL only. Apparently, the patient must be moved to the resuscitation room.

Second day. Hey, it was not that bad. Make a status? Nervousness plus uncooperativeness equals disaster.

Third day + electives. Excitement and Exhaustion.

I started to get the hang out of it. However, tomorrow I'll start at a new hospital. Hopefully, all goes well like it has been.

Earthquake. Realization. Commitment.

2009-09-02T21:19:00.003+07:00

This afternoon, 14.55 PM, another episodes of earthquakes occurred in Indonesia. The epicenter was in Tasikmalaya, West Java. The first quake came in with 7.3 Richter scale in power. Sure enough, the quake could be felt almost all around Java, including Jakarta.

I was at the 7th floor of public wing, just finished a mini-cex.

My initial reaction was kinda dull I suppose, but when all patients came out of their room, screaming, calling to their gods, I was panicked. Instinctively, I wanted to save my life first but then I saw a senior doctor, who was very calm. At that very moment, it came to me that I should not be panicked because the last thing that a patient need is that their doctor to be panic as well.

There were cracking sounds and some of the walls were chipped off.

After the quake stopped, me and my friends decided to get out from the hospital. Evacuation was not yet ordered. On the way down, we encountered a patient, who was bleeding because she took out the IV line. We rushed to the nearest nurse station to get a gauze. It was at this time, I heard the order to evacuate. The situation tensed. After helping the patient, we went further down to the exit door. We encountered another patient, however, lying on the bed, only with his spouse. They asked for help.

"Whatever happens, I have to help this patient." I thought. I didn't know what my friend was thinking, but I guessed it was pretty much the same. Even though we are not officially doctors yet.

We pushed down the bed down to the evacuation exit.

After almost like forever, we reached ground floor. I was exhilarated.

I saw some doctors, and medical students taking photos. "Not the best choice of action," I said to myself.

Janji Kepaniteraan

2009-08-22T06:38:00.004+07:00

On 21st of August 2009, which was yesterday, at 1.00 pm, the faculty held this ceremony called "Janji Kepaniteraan" (I could not find "Janji Kepaniteraan" in English) before we enter the clinical rotation.

In the "Janji Kepaniteraan", We, 4th year medical students, promised that we will do our best in our study, be grateful to the patients and our teachers, and try to improve the health of our society.

The moment was a bit phantasmic. I did not quite believe that it has been that long since I first entered medical school.

I felt kind of proud and nervous at the same time because I have to represent my international class colleagues in signing the "Janji Kepaniteraan".

The white white thing was just purely ceremonial but we do have to wear white coats on our clinical rotation.

A new method? Fatuous on many levels...

2009-08-10T19:42:00.004+07:00

The faculty is currently trying to implement a new method for the student to register their study plan. It is a good idea, if it works.

However it did not and fails on so many levels...

1. Each student must have an academic advisor (AA) for the method to work.

Fact: some students have not got an AA.

2. Students must finish their academic registration before they can make they study plan.

Fact: there is no apparent coordination between the bank and the administration, which causes some students to be unregistered though they have registered.

3. AAs must approve their students' study plan.

Fact: AAs have no clue on how to approve their students' study plan.

4. The time limit for making a study plan is 4 days.

Fact: with those problems mentioned above it is IMPOSSIBLE.

I think it would be best to apply the new "thing" to the freshmen.

Clinical Rotation

2009-07-26T22:08:00.002+07:00

I know it has been quite some time but at last I will have my clinical rotation around September. If there are no changes, my first rotation will be in the emergency department.

Hopefully I will learn a lot.

Home sweet home?

2009-06-05T20:33:00.003+07:00

It took me some time to do a new post because there had been some crazy changes in the house. No more wifi!!! and it was all because of my pesky neighbors, who keep stealing it even after my brothers have set a password. Do not ask me how...

Anyway, the temperature in Jakarta is perfect, not too cold not too hot.

Everything else is pretty much the same. What I meant was everything is pretty much still chaotic.

On Sunday (2 days after my arrival) my parents celebrated their 25th anniversary. Congratulations once again Mom & Dad!! As usual there were relatives that came over. I did not realize, until that day, that whenever they came over, they kept asking me the same question. "Have I dissected a corpse?" "Was I afraid?"

WTH??? Of course I could not say that, but still, is studying medicine equal dissecting corpses?

In another conversation, one of my relatives mentioned that she disliked a doctor because the doctor looked up a pharmacology book before prescribing drugs to her son. Just as I thought, patients in Indonesia are very narrow minded. Moreover, my parents, who have pharmacy backgrounds, agreed with her. I tried my reasoning but they just will not listen. I wondered, is it that hard for medical students, whose parents are also doctors?

News from the health section. People in Jakarta must have known Prita, a woman who was arrested due to defamation charge. I was amazed to see people's comments about this case. I am on our President side in this case. As he said, we must let the law do its function.

With the presidential election coming up, I have been watching the news lately. And oh man, there were no substance during the presidential debate. Instead of talking about their vision, mission, and programs, they were badmouthing each other just like in elementary school.

Come on guys...

One week

2009-05-21T23:06:00.002+07:00

One week, it is the time I have left because I will be going back to Jakarta on the 29th of May.

It is quite sad to think about my departure. In Melbourne, I felt as if I can accomplish anything. Today, well technically yesterday, I went to a Go club in Hampton while I have not ever been to a Go club in Jakarta. Why? The transport and the traffic of course. To be honest, I forgot how retarded the traffic in Jakarta.

I feel grateful to be able to do kendo and made a couple of friends there. They even made me a farewell picnic (in winter LOL). Nevertheless, I feel very fortunate to become their friend.

As for my review, it is still need some polishing but I am prepared to submit it by Wednesday.

I cannot wait to see my family!!!

What a break!!

2009-04-25T20:57:00.005+07:00

Ever said that you need a break? Well, I haven't. Until when I finished my first draft. Though, it wasn't my first intention to have a break but I did.

On Monday, I didn't sleep in order to finish the draft by Tuesday and because I'd rather spend my money on other things beside tram tickets, I ended up walking back and forth to the University direction three times.

I was hungry and sleepy but that didn't make me feel not going for kendo, which turned out to be a bad idea. Seriously, sleep if you have kendo the next day.

These past few days, I haven't touched my draft, which supposedly a good idea if you wanted to edit your writing. However, I do have other assignments.

I just got home from Docklands to watch Cirque du Soleil "Dralion". It was amazing! -and that's the end of my break.

Early morning blues

2009-03-29T21:23:00.002+07:00

It's 1.23 A.M.

While I was doing my review, suddenly I felt the urge to write.

These past few weeks, I always sleep around 2 to 3 in the morning. I should have known it better that this is not a healthy thing to do. However, again, most medical students do not have a choice, do they? At least now I am a bit relieved because the review is starting to come together. Therefore, I set a goal to finish the final draft by mid-april.

The blues song I am listening to makes me in a good mood.

Aside from the medicine, my kendo intro course is almost at its end; and I have decided to buy a uniform set ($500 AUD, incl shiping cost) instead of a practice shinai. The reason? who would want to be different (in a sense that only you the one who wears casual clothing)?

PS: Hang in there!!

A long hiatus

2009-03-06T13:28:00.002+07:00

I haven't been able to write for a while and next few months to come due to increasing workload.

Only 3 months left before the systematic review due.

Why am I still slacking off?

A short trip to the emergency department

2009-02-13T19:13:00.003+07:00

Today, after I participated in a study to get some extra cash, I came across into M.J., a friend of mine. Apparently, she was on her way to emergency department (ED) for her clinical exposure; and because she is nice, she tagged me along.

At first, I was reluctant due to fear that I might not be allowed to go inside. But, my passion for medicine outweighed my fear, which turned out to be my over-active-imagination.

So I went into the ED to see a stabbed victim. He was a fruit vendor, who was stabbed by some teenagers...I guessed it was because he is a minority. Afterwards, the paramedics described the AMPLE (allergies, medications, past history, last meal, and events). Then, I observed how the trauma team did the secondary. Also, I got a chance to look at the CT-scan and discussed it with M.J. As usual, I still need to learn a lot more.

My impression about ED...it was way slower compared to medical TV series.

Today, I learnt a lot...thanks M.J.

What an irony!

2009-01-23T16:45:00.003+07:00

I listened to John Hopkins Podcast yesterday, which partly talked about the increased risk of getting common cold with the lack of sleep.

Today, I caught a cold.

Moral of the story: Get enough sleep!! but do medical students ever get enough time to sleep??

Unprepared

2009-01-15T18:49:00.004+07:00

No matter how far we look into the future and prepare for whatever may come, there are things that can caught you off guard.

One of them is death.

Recently, I was shocked by the news of the death of my friend's father, may he rest in peace. I had mixed emotions and almost cried, thinking what if it happened to me.

I was always the sensitive type and ironically, I will definitely be seeing a number of deaths during my clinical rotation this year. At this moment, I could not imagine how would I feel if my patient dies. Thus, when the time do come, I hope I can be strong.

P.S. Mom and Dad, I love you. Please stay healthy.

Is every medical student entitled to financial problem?

2009-01-08T14:12:00.005+07:00

What a depressing first post in 2009 or some of you may think.

Being a medical student, I could not thank my parents enough. Mostly, because they have spent a lot of money for my tuition fee. From what I have heard and read, this is not the case for many western medical students (they have a lot of debts).

However, my AMS year allows me to experience a part of it. Let me describe my situation at the moment. First, I am away from home, living together with 2 previously-unknown housemates. Second, my parents already sent me a sum of money for one year. Thus, I am unable (morally) to ask for more and to make things worse, after 1 semester has passed, I did some calculation and discovered that I will be running on a very tight budget.

So, in order to survive 5 more months before I go back to Jakarta, I made up some rules:

1. Do not use laptop too often. If it is necessary, use the library electricity.

2. Use cold water to bath (it is supposed to be summer now and it is still damn cold!!)

3. No snacking. When you are hungry, eat things that have a lot of fibers (e.g., carrots).

4. Do not waste money on trams, just walk. Wake up earlier if you have to.

5. Only use washing machine for towels and jeans, hand wash for the rest.

Yet, during these harsh times, I began to really appreciate what my parents have done all these years. Although I never made a New Year's resolution, this will be my first. My resolution for 2009 is to take what I need not what I want.

My Wish List

2008-12-23T03:22:00.003+07:00

Since I have been working part-time, I have this urge to buy several things that I was not able to buy before:

1. Ipod Nano (bought it! yey)

2. A Sankei shinai

3. Fossil's messenger bag or watch

4. igo set and shogi set

5. A Sony HDR TG1

I know the fact that my salary will not cover it all, but I can dream right?

Commentary on life

2008-12-19T18:13:00.005+07:00

Not once, not twice, I encountered many people asking why I wanted to be a doctor. "They don't have life," they often added. Even my outgoing friends told me to get a life when I said I could not go with them. In the past, I tend to get pissed.

What is it with people judging other people?

My perception of life, clearly, is different from those people. Thoreau inspired me on the meaning of life by an excerpt from Walden, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary." Some of you may know that a part of this excerpt was also used in a film entitled "Dead poet society".

"Life" is not something that can only be obtainable on certain circumstances, in certain places, and with certain people.

Christmas is just around the corner

2008-12-06T17:10:00.009+07:00

Being in Australia, it is hard to imagine christmas because it falls on summer and my image of christmas is cold weather. Around this time, I began to miss Jakarta and its rainy season.

So, I played some christmas songs just to get the feel of it.

Currently, I am working on the introduction section of my review, memorizing the menu for my part-time job, and studying for USMLE. Though, few days ago I thought that I might not be able to do those things but after reading "My Battle with Time" , I was able to manage my time.

I knew about my procastination habit for quite some time and I was determined trying to break it. The article reminded me that I am a procastinator and I regained my determination.

So, back to work!

Exams are over

2008-11-28T05:16:00.002+07:00

I got two exams and I screwed one of them. It was the first time in my life, where I felt that I would not be able to finish in time. In the end, I just wrote whatever crossed my mind; hope it would be sufficient.

Fortunately, I decided to attend a surgical tutorial and it took my mind out off the exam.

Finally, summer break and part-time job! Ipod here I come (Yes, I do not have an Ipod).

Narcolepsy-ing frenzy

2008-11-08T18:02:00.002+07:00

Though it is spring, it is as cold as winter, which is a bad thing considering how I tend to hit snooze around 10 times underneath my blanket. Though I might have sleep for relatively more hours, I still feel sleepy.

Is it because I walk to the University instead of catching a tram?

Hope the weather becomes a bit warm, otherwise I may not have enough time to study for the exam by the end of this month.

Again, cliché situation...when will medical students have no problem with time?

That was catchy!!

2008-10-17T19:12:00.002+07:00

On a medical record...

Patient feels like shit

[Based on true story]

NB: it did manage to make someone laughed

A week of lab

2008-10-16T08:50:00.002+07:00

Last week was my group turn to do "introductory to lab techniques".

On the first day, we did protein assay. We also had those back in Indonesia but unlike in Indonesia, I grasped the concept better here. Perhaps due to time availability (we got the whole day to do the protein assay) and we were working in small groups. Afterwards, we were divided into 2 subgroups. One group did the PCR first, and the other group did the tissue culture first. I was included in the latter one.

On the second day, we did all things, which were related to tissue culture. I had the opportunity to do a tissue culture back in Indonesia so it was no surprise. However, I was amazed by those wonderful equipments that they had there. Unlike in Indonesia, some things must be done in a very inconvenient way. At the end of the day, we have counted our cells and prepare them for immunofluorescence on the next day.

On the fourth day, we did PCR. Again, the difference was only the equipments.

I remembered that the head of international class, Dr. DI, wanted UI students to had the opportunity do research with sophisticated equipments. After a week of lab session, I realized that the reason why we were sent to Australia was quite pointless. Though there were some difference in equipment, it was not so different compared to what UI has. In fact, I reckoned those equipments were not that expensive.

The topic has been decided

2008-09-27T20:15:00.006+07:00

I have chosen immunotherapy in glioma as a topic for my systematic literature review.

At this point, I do not think it is going to change; it is not that there is a possibility for it to change but at some point during the process I might be overwhelmed and regret my choice.

I am both excited and not excited about it right now. The excitement, mostly, cannot be explained logically. You know, it is like when you are about to start something...you just feel excited or not...(maybe it is just me). Anyway, the part that I dislike the most about research is searching and appraising the literatures. I got goosebumps just by thinking about it (oh wait, it is just the cold weather).

Nonetheless, I am very thankful to God for giving me a wonderful supervisor!

Too ambitious?

2008-09-12T20:37:00.004+07:00

Some of my classmates said I am too ambitious while some of them said I have made a good plan ahead.

Well here is the deal. I know what it is to be too ambitious and what it is not but there is a possibility that I might get it wrong. Anyway, here is the story.

During this whole AMS year, I will be having masterclass series lectures that consists of lectures on a certain field by an expert on that field; and yesterday, I have a lecture about cochrane review. Because at the end of AMS year I must make 5000 words systematic literature review, I asked whether it is possible to get my systematic literature review to be published. Was it too ambitious?

At that time I was just concerned about the possibility of my work being published since it would be good to put on my CV. It was not like I am 100% sure that my work will be published or such because I know I am still far of producing high quality systematic literature review.

My opinion is I am ambitious but I am not too ambitious. Sometimes, it is necessary to be ambitious because without it you will not have a spirit to do something. Also, it is needed to be able to push yourself beyond your limit. Being too ambitious means just plain greedy and God knows I am not greedy.

Some Random Stuffs

2008-08-21T21:23:00.004+07:00

Ever try googling your name? Of course most of us did. The idea came to me after I saw my friend googling her name. At that time, the idea of googling your own name did not appear on my head.

It has been 1 year and I tried to google it again.

Guess what? The results did increase but there were some strange stuffs.

Google still suggesting that it was filipas dabbawalla that I was looking for? Say what?
There was a result from facebook. No big deal since I own 1; but in France?

And I also tried to google this blog address fdmd...apparently it is an acronym for Foundation of Depression and Manic Depression. So for you guys who stumbled upon this blog and expect to see depressing posts or manic posts...I am very very sorry you will not find any.

Medical Doctors Doesn't Save Lives

2008-08-12T17:34:00.005+07:00

Earlier today, Professor SF said this when he taught about statistics.

"A Medical Doctor doesn't save lives," he continued "he just prolongs them and changes the mode of death."

It is true when we look at the mortality rate from the biostatistics.

From another view?

It's been a long time since the last post. It's because I'm currently studying statistics and the fact that I'm not good with maths made it really difficult.

One step closer to USMLE

2008-07-20T13:57:00.002+07:00

Finally, I got my USMLE/ECFMG number. Well, I got it around 6 days ago. Why did it take too much time? Explanation is simple, I messed up.

I wanted it to be as official as it could. So, I used my university-provided e-mail address but apparently there was some serious error. it couldn't receive any e-mail except the one from UI itself. So, I tried to re-register with my yahoo e-mail address. Guess what, it didn't work. It was a common sense to e-mail the ECFMG, subsequently. ODG, it was just getting harder but I figured, if I really want to do this then I will do whatever necessary to make it happen.

After faxing some documents to ECFMG. Voila! I got it.

My Knee Hurts (inspired by Ben Ferguson's)

2008-07-05T09:38:00.005+07:00

Inspired by Ben Ferguson's "The Constant Battle" in The Differential

Have you ever experienced such pain as if someone is slicing through your muscle with a blunt knife non-stop? Well, it does stop, occasionally, just to come back with a duller knife and usually at that point I started to throw things, scream, and have tears wet my eyes. Hard to imagine? See House on House M.D. I think that is exactly how I felt it except that mine is on the left thigh (directly above the knee), the cause is not the same and I have no pain medication or whatsoever.

I do remember when the pain occurred for the first time. It was on the 3rd grade when I woke up one morning and realized that I couldn't straightened my left leg. I didn't go to school that day and my mom took me to a massager (I couldn't recall what happened during the session and after that but I do remember there were a lot of screaming and crying) but it didn't help. One day the pain just disappeared. However, it still hurts but only when I pressed on it.

Many years later, the pain came back and I noticed that my left muscle thigh was smaller. Then, I decided to go to a physiotherapist several times but it didn't help either. Afterwards, I grew pessimistic until I've heard about this "doctor" who might probably tell me what causes the pain and cure it. He referred me to an orthopedic surgeon. He came out with a tumor diagnosis because he felt some mass on that region and then he suggest for an MRI, which I never did because it is expensive and my parents won't pay for it.

I have learnt to live with it.

After 3 years of medical school, I hypothesize that I had a slight femur dislocation and that was what causing the muscle problem, thus pain. Perhaps one day I'll do the MRI and find out what's wrong with my leg.

Ethics...for animals?

2008-07-03T16:25:00.012+07:00

It is the week of bridging program (after a week of orientation). Basically, it is about academic culture in Melbourne and how we (UI students) are expected to think and work as Australian medical students. Anyway, it has been 4 days of bridging program and there are several things that I consider should really be practiced in Indonesia, which is about ethics, particularly animals as research subjects.

Perhaps in developed countries it is a common thing but things are not the same in developing countries (e.g. Indonesia). I remember that when I was in my 2nd and 3rd year, doing my research on rat pups about nerve cells growth, there was no information regarding the need to have my project to be ethically reviewed, and I vividly remembered how the doctor, literally, cut the pup head with a pair of scissors! (apparently he learnt this when he went to school in Japan) and only in this few days that I learnt that in Australia, it is considered to be very unethical. Therefore, to euthanize it would be a better way to kill the animal and do the biopsy afterwards.

I am pretty sure that the policy regarding the animal ethics has already been implemented by UI but as we see in general Indonesian population, regulations are a mere written documents. Thus they are lacking in obeying rules. How I can be so sure? Well, when I about to submit a copy of my report to Medical Research Unit (MRU), they asked me whether I was submitting my project proposal to be ethically reviewed...and yes that is why I said earlier that UI has to start practicing those regulations because I do believe that they have wonderful regulations that will promote a better learning and research environment.

My first seminar ever in melbourne

2008-06-25T16:04:00.003+07:00

It was about the role of polygenic in absence seizure.

Frankly speaking, it was very different than what I've had back in Indonesia. Perhaps because in Indonesia the world of research has not developed as advance as in Australia.

It was about 1 hour, with the Q&A session. Plus, I got to experience Melbourne at night (for the first time) also. It's so bloody cold!

Anyway...

I can't wait to start the AMS module!

Great Program

2008-06-23T15:04:00.005+07:00

So, today was my first day on UoM campus. It started with an introduction followed by an orientation and ended with enrollment. Guess what? The program turned out to be better than I have expected. How could I said so?

First - It turned out that 2/3 of our current program is adapted from the master program (how cool is that?)

Second - Not too many lab hours, not too few, just the right amount

Third - Clinical exposure (it's like an observership with a chance of externship also) + Literature review...who can reject that offer?...really? I'm planning to persuade my supervisor to issue a LoR (evil grin), though the program coordinator said it's impossible.

Homesick

2008-06-21T16:17:00.003+07:00

It's saturday 21-jun-08, 19.22 pm in Australia and 4.22 pm in Indonesia. Though, 3 hours apart I feel homesick already. Geez, it's only been like 4 days. What I'll miss the most perhaps my mom's cooking and yelling, of course. And in a moment like this I realize that it's true that we sometimes took things for granted.

Indeed, the environment here is what I've dreamt about (everything is in order) but still I prefer Indonesia. I found that lots of my friends disagree with me, saying it is temporary. Yeah...perhaps.

The course will be started on Monday, 09.00 AM SHARP (Must Not Be Late!). Probably this will be an issue because for these past 4 days I usually wake up at 7 - 7.30....ODG, please help me on this >_<.

Land...

2008-06-17T16:17:00.002+07:00

After an exhausting trip for almost a day...I've finally arrived at Melbourne. And this is the night where I'll spent my first night here. So far there's no problem or whatsoever regarding the weather...the weather turns out to be just fine...

During the day, I looked around and see how the social life here...turned out it is not so very different than people back home.

The only problem for me is that I must remember the streets! Man it's confusing indeed.

Can do much though since my student ID card hasn't been inssued yet.

12° going down...

2008-06-10T19:04:00.002+07:00

Six days left till departure to Australia and my friend who arrived there said the temperature is 12 degrees and it's still going down, since it is still in the beginning of winter, or so did he say. "Man, I'll be a frozen meat out there!" I said to him but then he told me to chill. ODG, chill? Did you check the thermometer? Though I know what he meant but still the choice of word...perhaps there's something wrong with his hippothalamus and his language center. And also he added, "If it's raining it won't be as cold as if there's wind." Again, rarely I saw rain without wind. So, what's that suppose to mean?

Say, years before people have died because of heat stroke, I hope I won't make it to the news headline "Tropical boy was frozen to death" cause it will give a new meaning to a frozen product imported from tropical countries, wouldn't it?

I'll be missing the tropical sunshine (of course my family first, just in case they read these) for I'll be leaving for a year. Such price to gain more knowledge.

OSCE 28/05/2008

2008-05-28T18:17:00.002+07:00

This morning, I've done my 2nd OSCE. It consists of 4 stations. Each student gets different subject, me and my 3 friends got anthropometric assessment, basic surgery skill, endocrine anamnesis, and psychiatric counseling. So here is how it went (may be differ from the one you've had on your countries).

Anthropometric measurement:

Get the anamnesis for the mother about the baby (I screwed up by not asking some key questions such as the developmental of the baby, the condition of the mother during pregnancy)
Do the measurement (The wood is for the head? really? and I forgot the check whether the scale pointer is at , and the instructions of the nutritional status was not clear. i've asked whether BMI or IBW that was being asked)
Assess the development by using KPSP! (Again, I forgot about the scoring system)
Mention the compulsory immunizations for a 12 m.o. baby? (...)

Basic surgical skill:

Make two interrupted stitches (I sailed it through though details of uncovering the cover for the equipments was neglected)

Endocrine anamnesis:

Anamnesis (not very thorough)
JVP, Lymph nodes, and Thyroid examination (What happened? I thought I did ok!)
Blood Sugar Test (Seriously, if you want to use simulation patient, use them don't differentiate between anamnesis and the procedure...)

Psychiatric counseling:

Make a counseling and report ( I need to work on the report but I sailed this one also)

After the exam passed, I thought to myself whether I'll be ready to face the internship next year? Because those things that I've missed, I should have mastered it. But I'm glad that I feel this way so I'll study more. Because people who are easily satisfied with their works or thinks that they're flawless won't go anywhere.

Latest update: I've been accused that I've told 2nd group students about the questions (I'm in the first group) about the exam. I will clarify that to whoever said that.

Road To AMS part 3 (final)

2008-05-24T19:26:00.003+07:00

I've got my visa! Yey! Thank God there're no problems at all though I was afraid that I would have some remembering that my father has multiple names. And the module co-ordinator for UI students, Justin, also has replied my e-mail about some details regarding the program. I'm really excited to do AMS there and hopefully I could get the knowledge to be applied here in my country to further improve medical quality of Indonesia doctors.

The problem right now is the apartment, I haven't found a fixed place to stay which should be no problem if I were to go by myself but my mom insists to go with me. What I have to say? Sorry mom you will become a burden? Hell no! And if I can, trust me...I won't.

This is the last post about my preparation for AMS in Australia and just like a horror movie, It may not have a good ending. (finger crossed)

Road to AMS part 2

2008-05-09T17:54:00.003+07:00

Finally, letter of offer has arrived. That means one thing less to think about which is quite good, but from 1000 things to think? I don't think that means a lot.
My friends also have received their letters from their chosen University. Sadly, about one third of my batch want to go to Monash but nothing can I do about it...They've made their choice.
Regarding my last post, I still think it's best for all student to go to University of Melbourne but what is best for me might not be the best for the other.
Hopefully when we go our separate ways on June, all of us will bring more than research experience.

Road to AMS part 1

2008-04-21T06:14:00.002+07:00

So, Apparently I've been absent with blogging for quite some time but that was certainly unintentional. It was due to packed schedule and I was sick...yes a medical student can also be sick. And I think, it was due to the stress of AMS preparation.
The thing started when University of Melbourne announced that they won't take any undergraduate for AMS starting 2011. But UI reacted very quickly they asked for permission to seek out another partner and they've got Monash which shockingly responded very fast too. Therefore, starting on 2008, my AMS year, students can choose whether they want to go to Monash or University of Melbourne. To be honest, I was confused. It was because the way they presented themselves was very..."selling". Hence, I went for interview until 7.30 PM, though I was definitely not feeling very well. That was why I hit the bed as soon as I arrived. Of course after I've prayed because to me, at that time, this Monash University of Melbourne thing is very very confusing. Both have their advantage and disadvantage.
On the day of application submission, I was feeling very sick so I went home directly without submitting the application form. And miraculously I was feeling better. Eventually I still suffered from acute diarrhea but I'm sure now that my choice to go to University of Melbourne was correct. I'll update more info later.

Everyday, too little time

2008-02-26T13:50:00.003+07:00

I don't know whether in all medical school encounter the same problem which is too little time.
It's February and everyday I felt that I am being "chased".
Mid-March is the deadline for my medical check-up visa requirement, I must make a new passport, and must present the research.
April and May I must apply for the Australian Visa.
Finally, June, I will go to Melbourne (hopefully if there's no administration problem).
And all of those must be done in the midst of modules (2 modules to go).

"Corrupted" To The Very Core

2008-01-11T19:55:00.000+07:00

WHO established a criteria for a good doctor, which is a seven stars doctor (+research in my country). In Universitas Indonesia, young doctors were hoped to be able to fulfill those criteria, which is reflected by the same lecture each year for the freshman.
I will not talk about the criteria nor the criteria that the University has set. On the contrary, I will talk about the progress so far, on how those values were put to practice by the medical students on Universitas Indonesia, which should be the leading medical school in Indonesia. I will not be discussing all of them of course because it will take me an awful lot of time to write it all. And yet, it will not make my point to be less significant nor more significant.
One of the point is community leader. It is easy to understood, especially in my country, because people here still thinks that being a doctor is the best achievement in education a man can get. Furthermore they tend to think that doctor is a kind of semi-god or something. So everything that he said (concerning health of course) will be listened and done by most people. For example, it was depicted in a TV series LOST, where passengers of an airplane were stranded on an island and they pointed a doctor as their leader. Another example, in front of my university, I saw many people , both who are medical students and those who are not, crossing the street not in the zebra cross nor the bridge, literally. And even though some authorities already fenced it, they are willing to pass a small opening beneath the busway terminal to still be able to cross the street eventhough the bridge. If their reason is because the route is shorter, they could take the zebra cross just 20 m from the point where they were crossing.
The thing that made me really disappointed was because there are medical students amongst them. Come on, you should be a community leader, you should set a cultural trend. Furthermore, these proven that most of medical students in a leading University have not been able to fulfill the criteria. Though it may look small inappropriate behavior, it might be a significant indicator on how "corrupted" the way of thinking of Indonesian people. They prefer breaking rules that people have agreed on together on personal satisfaction, personal ego. Shockingly, they mentioned about westerners being egocentric, which on the reality we might be more egocentric than them. But I believe awareness is the beginning of a change, how it has started in me, I wished the same thing for the people of Indonesia, my brothers and sisters.

Answering Expectations

2007-12-14T20:23:00.000+07:00

People tend to have certain expectations for certain things. For instance, friendship. People cherished them for mutual relationship. Nonetheless patients also have certain expectations through their medical check-up session. Some expected to be cured and some to be listened.

A true story from one of my mentor, a patient was referred to him by his mentor. Though the diagnosis couldn't be more right. She was complaining about very short time of examination. However, this kind of problem is quite inevitable because the lack of medical professionals here in Indonesia. As a consequences, one doctor with patients with number beyond his capability to handle if he/she were about to give them 5 to 10 minutes time of consultation. Yet, another patient might came with goal to be cured. Although they got ideal time for consultation, they also might not satisfied as their expectations were not met as with the problem above. Therefore a physician should be able to fulfill both types of expectation because we didn't choose who will be our patient.

I, as a son from quite conservative Chinese descendant family, were expected to follow my parents decision about everything. But instead of entering engineering school, I entered medical school. Perhaps, because I didn't meet their expectations they seldom mad at me for no apparent reasons. Eventually they've accepted my decision and won't force me further. Though they are still, at certain occasion, saying that I could do so much more with engineering because I have the natural talent for it, or at least that's what they think. And I need not to worry because human body is quite similar with a set of electronic device.
Recently, when I have to move the TV from the 2nd floor to the 1st floor and I was unable to get a picture out of the TV due to different sets of cable. My mom got mad and I had to carry it back up. Then this thought came to my head, human body is indeed quite similar with the TV. And the fact that I couldn't got a picture out of the TV meant that maybe in clinical rotation in the next 2 years, I might not be able to applicate theory into practice. Meaning, there is still so much to learn about being a good doctor.

The Passion

2007-11-28T20:58:00.000+07:00

People entering medical school, I believe, have their own reason to be someone who must constantly keep up with the ever-changing world of science, not to mention 5 years of undergraduate study or even more in abroad. Without a doubt, medical students, when you asked them about their motives to enter medical school, most of them would answer that they want to help people. It is like they have the answer since they were born, imprinted in their database, but it turned out, most of them, to be meaningless. At least, that is what I saw in my country.

I begun questioning myself when I noticed my friends, even those with GPA > 3.5, were happy just to be able to pass a module.They didn't feel that what they have learned is not enough. Maybe they thought they will instantaneously become a doctor, who can help anyone, once they graduate. When I gave my opinion on how they use every "tools" possible to get them better marks, some of them made an analog between 2 groups of people, driving to a same destination. One group chose to drive on a highway and the other group didn't. The highway group sure will reach their destination faster and those who didn't can't complain because that is their choice.
Being a doctor is not just about graduating from medical school. On the contrary, being a doctor means the journey. Although it may not be an easy nor a short one, but you will get a lot from it. Don't just focus yourself on marks but you can't also ignore the marks. Therefore you must focus on the knowledge. Really, how can you expect yourself to help people when you don't know how to cure their disease?
For me, to relieve my patients from their suffering is my passion. I might not be able to let the rock off their shoulders but at least they won't carry it alone.

So, what's yours?